Today, mum was born

Today is my mum's birthday.

My mum and I fight a lot, mostly about the same things over and over again. She complains that I never shut drawers after I open them, and I always complain that she should be grateful that I'm not an angst-ridden junkie and that surely, leaving drawers open is the best bad habit a daughter could have.

My mum and I occasionally fight about more important things, and neither one of us likes doing that. We fight because sometimes, I can be a really mean and never admit to it, and because sometimes, she can be a really mean too but never admit to it either, which in turn makes me act even meaner. It's a vicious cycle, really. I have drawn a diagram using sophisticated software (MS Paint) to illustrated just how vicious it is. See below.
Thankfully, when it comes to fighting with my mum, I have only a limited capacity for anger and so I end up giving her a hug five minutes after and things go back to normal.

My mum and I sometimes don't manage to get things to go back to normal, because we're both very stubborn and refuse to admit that we might be wrong. Also, I am always right, so it's her fault, really. When these situations occur, we have what I often refer to as a Cold War. We try our best to be polite, whilst internally fuming. At least, that's what I do, but I'm sure she's exactly the same.

My mum and I engage in activities other than fighting. We like to lie down on the couch together and watch TV. Sometimes, it's Gilmore Girls, which reminds us of ourselves except that, well, my mother is not a single mother, and my love life isn't half as exciting as Rory's (read: I don't have one). But these are differences that can be overlooked. Sometimes, we watch CSI and delight in trying to guess who the murderer is and invariably getting it wrong. A few years ago, Tuesday evening used to be our ER evening, and we'd randomly get weepy over dying cancer patients and children with incurable genetic diseases and stillborn babies. We like to watch movies that make us cry, and then laugh at each other for crying.

My mum and I are always late, for everything. Despite this, neither of us have ever missed a plane, train or bus. People are so exasperated that they are literally praying for the day the plane leaves without us, so that we might learn. They are, of course, delusional. We'll never give up being late.

My mum is not very good with names, which is a family joke, so she practices learning random celebrity names from the Italian version of Dancing With the Stars.

My mum is also not very good with languages, which is another family joke, but she refuses to speak any other language than Turkish with me, even though it could help her improve her English and Italian. She says that if she lets me forget Turkish, she'll have no way to communicate with me when I'm older. She's right, as usual.

My mum is always right. That's why I never even bother to complain anymore when she makes me take a jacket out with me 'just in case,' even if it's Spring.

My mum worries about the most absurd things. We were going on holiday for a few days some time ago, and we had to park the car at the airport. She insisted that we park it underground because 'you never know, there might be a hailstorm'.

My mum worries about things that are worth worrying about, mainly because she cares about people other than herself, which is more than I can say for me. Because my mum is so nice, everybody loves her, including me.

My mum is the most incredible people person I know. She can walk into a stuffy government office, wait in line for a tediously long hour and then smile and make friends with the person behind the counter, so that if she's missing a document, she can come back later and skip the line and get it all done in a second. She's friends with bank workers and consulate workers. Cleaning ladies tell her about their family sagas. The whole extended family loves her. I have yet to know of a single person who did not immediately love my mother after meeting her. I don't know how she does it, but it's amazing, and it makes me really proud.

My mum is one of my two best friends. I tell her absolutely everything.

My mum is hilarious. She is also a great actress. Sometimes, I ask her to be 'angry mum', an act in which she pretends to be evil, snaps at me and generally acts completely out of character. She is so believable that I have to tell her to stop after a while because it scares me.

My mum is an advocate of healthy eating. She puts so little salt in the food she makes that once, when we went for a check up, our blood analyses showed that everything was in the norm except for our salt levels, which were below the ideal lower boundary. The doctor, who had never seen something like that in his life, could hardly believe it. I just found it hilarious, and thenceforth took the opportunity to eat my food salty, just how I love it.

My mum has been trying to 'get back to 58 kg' for the last ten years now.

My mum is now more than half a century old. When I think that she's on the way to being 60, I get scared, so I try not to think about it.

I love my mum very very much, and wish her a very happy birthday. I'm glad she was born and I'm glad she's my mum, because, as I often tell her, she's the best mum in the world.