When did the bun get into the oven?
Yesterday, I found out something which will probably traumatize me for life (well, OK, I'm over it already, but I like being a drama queen). Apparently, a girl in my school who's two years younger than me is pregnant.
The first time I heard the rumour I was all about being flippantly dismissive. Then, I heard it from someone else. Finally, when the third person, who'd heard it from a reliable source, told me, I was convinced. I immediately thought of Gilmore Girls.
The pop culture likeness didn't prepare me for the next part of the story which is, if possible, even more shocking. The girl is seven months pregnant. The baby's due in June. Her mum only found out two weeks ago.
Now this led me to reflect on two main points.
1) The girl had to tell her mother that she was pregnant. How can a mother not realize that her daughter is pregnant? And seven months along at that?
2) I never noticed until I was told.
For some reason, number two seems more important to me (perhaps because it's actually about me). I just couldn't believe that I'd never noticed there was a pregnant girl in my school. This would not be a big deal if my school was big or something, but it really isn't. You see the same faces all day, every day.
I'm not usually inclined to brooding, but I did this time. I mean, seriously, I'm a nice person! I care about other people! Do I really pass by people without looking at them properly?
Apparently, I do.
I watched Collateral the other day. During the rare ten-second intervals when I managed to tear my eyes away from the hotness of a grey-haired Tom Cruise, I actually thought about what the movie was saying. One of the messages was that we are all essentially alone, especially in big cities like LA (where the movie is set). The message was exemplified by the story of how some guy died on the subway and nobody noticed for six hours even though people kept sitting in the seat next to his.
For some reason, I immediately connected this to the pregnancy issue. It's the same thing, isn't it? You look, but you never see unless it's about you. We're all horrible, selfish people.
Mind you, I felt slightly less guilty today because I saw the girl smoking outside school.
The first time I heard the rumour I was all about being flippantly dismissive. Then, I heard it from someone else. Finally, when the third person, who'd heard it from a reliable source, told me, I was convinced. I immediately thought of Gilmore Girls.
The pop culture likeness didn't prepare me for the next part of the story which is, if possible, even more shocking. The girl is seven months pregnant. The baby's due in June. Her mum only found out two weeks ago.
Now this led me to reflect on two main points.
1) The girl had to tell her mother that she was pregnant. How can a mother not realize that her daughter is pregnant? And seven months along at that?
2) I never noticed until I was told.
For some reason, number two seems more important to me (perhaps because it's actually about me). I just couldn't believe that I'd never noticed there was a pregnant girl in my school. This would not be a big deal if my school was big or something, but it really isn't. You see the same faces all day, every day.
I'm not usually inclined to brooding, but I did this time. I mean, seriously, I'm a nice person! I care about other people! Do I really pass by people without looking at them properly?
Apparently, I do.
I watched Collateral the other day. During the rare ten-second intervals when I managed to tear my eyes away from the hotness of a grey-haired Tom Cruise, I actually thought about what the movie was saying. One of the messages was that we are all essentially alone, especially in big cities like LA (where the movie is set). The message was exemplified by the story of how some guy died on the subway and nobody noticed for six hours even though people kept sitting in the seat next to his.For some reason, I immediately connected this to the pregnancy issue. It's the same thing, isn't it? You look, but you never see unless it's about you. We're all horrible, selfish people.
Mind you, I felt slightly less guilty today because I saw the girl smoking outside school.
Labels: Deep Thought, Random is good
posted by The Poodle's Friend at 4:07 PM
10 Comments:
That's some deep thinking for one incident. I mean it could be that we all only care about ourselves...or it could be that the baby's really small and you just thought she was putting on a bit of weight.
If her own mother couldn't tell then I doubt you had much of a chance.
Still laughing at the last sentence...
We don't only see with our eyes. When I was a young woman at school, (many moons ago), girls hid their pregnancies from their families, just as this girl has. It is easy to overlook that she may be putting on weight, afterall the last thing you would think is that she is pregnant, would you?
By the way this is my first visit to your blog. You write beautifully. I hope you don't mind if I drop by from time to time.
From bomb scares to paedophilic, incompetent teachers, drug dealers and anorexic idiots we now have pregnent teenagers in a school that of less than 250 people. I feel like an American teenage soap opera.
Sometimes reality is so much more interesting than fiction.
I knew of a 16-year-old girl whose mother only found out she was pregnant when her water broke one day in the kitchen! Her mother had put her on a diet a few months prior, however.
There must be some element of denial in there. But I agree with you - most of us view the world through our own eyes. (Except moi, of course.) ;)
Perhaps you didn't notice she was pregnant because you weren't looking for it. I wouldn't frame it as an indictment of your sensitivity. Take it as learning experience instead (which it sounds like you have).
"I saw the girl smoking outside school."
I wish you hadn't told me that. As a parent of a child with asthma I want to kick any pregnant person I see smoking. Damn, that makes me angry!
Are we selfish or we self-centered?
If I'm prudent enough to take along an umbrella, must I give it to a mother with two children who are soaking wet in the street. Must I even notice them.
I don't know, this almost seems absurdly random; but exactly how much of ourselves should we give to others? Be it our time, attention...
How much should we keep to ourselves?
ash and sven: thanks for making me feel better about not noticing! Although I must say, now that I know she's pregnant, it's kinda obvious. I mean, her tummy sort of... sticks out... oh well.
st. jude: thanks! And please visit as often as you like!
frankengirl: your comment reminds me of the Duomo. It's this huge, beautiful cathedral in the centre of Milan that is just about the only tourist attraction here. Anyway, it's an amazing building but I never so much as glance at it when i pass it by (almost every day).
Sophia: Holy moly! I think that says a lot about that woman's parenting skills. And yes, we do view the world through our own eyes, don't we? Unless we get an eye transplant like Tom Cruise in Minority Report, which is such a bad movie, by the way.
niTin: I'd say we're self-centred. Bu that's normal, isn't it?
Pan: yeah, our school is rather decadent, isn't it?
Paedophilic teacher is sooo creepy. I can hardly look at him without thinking of his... exploits.
Seriously, when we get the prom king and queen, we'll turn into the perfect American high school.
Love your lovely cliched conclusion.
Hmmm... I didn't notice her pregnancy either, if it makes you feel any better. What's worse is that my LITTLE SISTER knew about it before I did!!!! And she's not even in the school! She even told me the gender of the baby: a boy.(she doesn't have a crystal ball, and doesn't get weird vibes.... her friend's sister is the pregnant girl's friend). I feel even more disgusted at myself for not noticing.
I didn't realize you are so moral, TPF!! (wink)
I actually forgot I'd already commented here. And a clever one too, I mean it hardly feels like mine; must have written it in throes of pain.
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